Finding our voice and confidence during meetings can be difficult when we don't know where to start. We may sometimes find ourselves in meetings with people we look up to, people we want to foster positive relationships with, or, at times, people who would choose to undermine our objectives. In whichever situation we may be, we need to find our authentic, confident voice. Finding our voice allows us to speak freely and can open doors. Like anything else, this is a skill. Today, I'll share with you four tips on how to add "speaking with confidence" to your toolbelt.
Tip #1: Consider Your Speaking Cadence
Something as simple as noticing your tone of voice and inflection can move mountains in your perceived confidence in meetings. One way that this is particularly apparent is in the modulation of your voice at the end of statements. Does your voice inflection pitch up at the end of a sentence? If so, this is called upspeak. It has the potential to be perceived as less confident. In contrast, ending your statements with downspeak, which is a downward vocal pitch at the end of a phrase or sentence, can increase the appearance of authority and confidence. Check out this video for a more in-depth explanation.
Tip #2: Ask Why Questions
When projecting confidence in meetings, we can sometimes become nervous about asking questions. We don't want to come across as ignorant or unknowledgeable, after all! I am here to tell you that this is the wrong approach. As confident participants in a meeting, we should be asking questions. It is asking the right questions that makes all the difference. Specifically, we should be asking why questions. Asking why can demonstrate that you are thinking about the big picture and looking for the more profound implications behind a decision or direction. Understanding why also helps you to understand strategic goals, which can help in future conversations.
Tip #3: Share Your Ideas
If this tip seems a little scary to you, you're not alone. Sharing ideas can be scary! When we share ideas, we make ourselves vulnerable and open ourselves up to potential criticism. Welcoming possible criticism can feel uncomfortable, but uncomfortable is precisely where we need to be to exercise our confidence muscles. By sharing ideas, we show our teams that we are contributing and thinking right along with them. We highlight the value that we bring to the table. Spoiler alert: this is the case even with your bad ideas. You read that correctly; even your "bad" ideas are worth sharing! Sharing ideas isn't always about campaigning for all of the meeting participants to agree with you. That may happen; soak up the sun if it does. Sharing ideas is about more than that. Sharing ideas says to the team, "I'm invested. I've been turning this problem over in my head, too. I'm ready to meet this challenge, too. I'm suiting up along with everybody else."
Tip #4: Don't Minimize Yourself
In the top corner of any computer application, there is a small "minus" button you can click that will shrink the application you are using. We know this button well as the minimize button. A button I do not think we know as well, but that many of us use just as often is the minimize button on our voice or ideas in a meeting. How many times have you been in a meeting, shared an idea, and then ended your statement with one of the following phrases: "... that's just an idea," "...if that makes any sense," "...I don't even know if I said that right, but, you know," "we don't have to, that's just what I was thinking." I know that I am guilty of this. If you are guilty of this, my advice is two words: stop it. Stop minimizing your thought, idea, or contribution by taking it out at the knees when you've finished. Let your statement stand. If it is the case that someone doesn't understand what you said, they can ask a clarifying question. Don't hand someone doubt about what you just said before you've even finished speaking it. Do not click that minimize button.
Bonus - Tip #5: Listen
As much as what we say in meetings can project confidence, it is important to remember something else as well -- listening. In every meeting, we need to be listeners. When we've shared our ideas, asked why questions, we need to take a step back and listen to the people around us. I know that for me, I learn far more by listening to the people around me than I do by listening to the sound of my own voice. Use active listening techniques, ask questions, and listen.
The next time you are in a meeting, observe yourself and your tendencies. Ask a trusted friend or colleague for feedback. Pick one "confidence tip" and try it out. With practice, you will be flying through meetings with confidence.