It took a long time to realize the feeling in his gut was homesickness. He never thought he would miss that place. But here he was, as far away as he could possibly get, feeling like maybe nowhere else on earth would ever understand him. Not in the way his roots understood him. He was a transplant here, a ball of dirt and root ripped from the ground and dropped into foreign soil. The earth could tell he did not belong here. But he couldn’t get over his own desperation not to belong where he had been.
The morning was early, and he stretched himself awake and got out of bed. Walking to the kitchen, the main attraction of his sparsely furnished apartment, his limbs still felt heavy from sleep. The coffee brewing, he stared out his window at the street below. Soon enough, too soon to his mind, he’d be down there, too. Down there amongst the people making their ways to whatever was most important that day.
Before he could pour his coffee, the phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he ignored the blaring ringtone.
“Too early for that conversation,” he remarked to no one.
Turning on the shower, he stepped into the marbled walls and let the hot water wash over his shoulders, his mind wandering as the water fell.
Would this place ever feel normal?
Would he ever call this place home?
What was the expiration date on “just trying it out for a little while?”
His thoughts continued to tumble as he dressed for work, packed his backpack, collected his things. This apartment, this city, his job in the tall mirrored building -- it all felt like a skin that wasn’t quite his own. And wasn’t that the
He spent years doing nothing but planning how to get away. And how, here he was, and none of it felt quite right. It was everything he imagined for himself, but somewhere along the way he stopped considering whether or not it was what he wanted.
Walking through the lobby of his building he thought he saw the unmistakable auburn hair of the woman he loved more than life. Shaking it off as another memory from home on a melancholy day, he made his way across the polished floor.
She turned from her seat on the small sofa and he froze.
There she was.
Here she was.
But why?
Racing towards him, she threw her arms around his neck and whispered close to his ear, “you need to come home.”